Ji Leyu felt bored.
He was always bored and trying to find some fun.
Sometimes, Ji Leyu felt that living was boring. He might as well just die.
But whenever this thought came up, he would force himself to suppress it. He couldn’t die. His life was bought by his uncle, who injured his two legs. He couldn’t die so easily. At the very least, he couldn’t commit suicide or he would feel sorry for his uncle.
But his uncle was dead and the world was boring. Living wasn’t as interesting as being dead.
As he thought this, he had some suicidal thoughts again.
Then as soon as these thoughts came up, he forcefully pushed them down without any surprise.
Over and over again, it was always like this.
This boredom made Ji Leyu feel more and more bored.
He thought about it before driving the car to the cemetery.
The cemetery was located in the southeast of the city. The park was large and quiet.
Ji Leyu carefully swept the grave and placed the flowers he had just bought in front of the gravestone. The flowers were very beautiful, gorgeous and full of life. They brightened up the black and white photos.
Ji Leyu looked over one by one. From his parents to his uncle, all the people he liked, cared about and didn’t want to lose were buried here. They all left him early. Every year, he looked more and more like them. He realized more clearly that the time in which they had left him was getting longer and longer.
Ji Leyu sat down next to the gravestone. He lit a cigarette and smoked quietly.
As he smoked, he remembered again that neither his father or his uncle smoked. Perhaps they did smoke but it wasn’t in front of him.
Thus, he put out the cigarette again.
He was always like this. He habitually pretended to be the best in front of his parents and his uncle, as if he was just like any other innocent child who had no bad intentions.
Until now, even so long after his parents and uncle had left him, he still maintained this habit. Every time he came to see them, he behaved like the kindest and purest person in the world.
Ji Leyu sat in silence. What he wanted to say had been said a long time ago and what he wanted to do had been done a long time ago.
He avenged his uncle and took back the company. He even took full revenge on everyone who had humiliated his uncle and made things worse. If it was his parents or his uncle, they might not care or retaliate. However, he was too bored. He wasn’t a good person by nature. He wasn’t a kind person when he was bored.
Ji Leyu remembered his childhood again. It was a happy childhood.
Most people didn’t have clear memories of things before they were five or six years old. Firstly, it was due to their physiological functions. Secondly, as they grew up, the things that happened when they were young became less and less important.
However, he remembered everything that happened before he was five or six years old. Those memories didn’t fade away like the ebbing tide when he grew up. They lived clearly and distantly in his constant recollections.
All of his driving force seemed to be those memories. It seemed that once those memories disappeared, he could stop his vital signs at any time.
He quietly reminisced about the past in the cemetery, thinking of the good times that were like treasures.
Suddenly, he smiled mischievously like he remembered some interesting things from his childhood.
But slowly, his smile gradually dissipated in the afterglow of the setting sun. These memories were too limited after all. Even if he recalled them over and over again, he would eventually finish them.
Ji Leyu stood up and reluctantly said goodbye to his parents and uncle.
This was his 912th visit to this cemetery. It was still the same as before. His mind briefly relaxed. It was still the same as before, and he felt more and more that life was boring. It was better to go down and reunite with his parents and uncle.
Ji Leyu got into the car and drove aimlessly around the city.
By the time he got back from the bar, it was already 2 o’clock in the morning.
Ji Leyu took a shower and lay down on the bed.
He didn’t drink too much, let alone get drunk. Still, wine was a good thing. Proper alcohol could help him sleep. He had always been unable to sleep well these days. This time, with the help of alcohol, he slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Ji Leyu had a dream, a rare dream.
He saw his younger self, almost six or seven years old, living in his uncle’s house in his exclusive bedroom. It was just as he remembered when he was a child.
Ji Leyu was a bit stunned. He hadn’t dreamed of his childhood for a long time.
It was probably because he had done too many bad things. God really couldn’t stand it and didn’t want to let him return to his past happy times in his dreams.
Still, it didn’t matter. He had never liked his fate and the God who controlled his destiny.
Now he dreamed of his childhood, of what he used to be.
Ji Leyu wanted to admit defeat for a moment. He wanted to shake hands with God to make peace.
He was really too bored and lonely. He wasn’t afraid of any challenge from God. It was only at this moment when the emotional card was played that he felt helpless.
He walked over to his bed and slowly sat down on it.
He saw himself lying under the quilt, his little face flushed. He looked pretty and cute.
Sometimes, Ji Leyu felt as if he was favored by God or else he wouldn’t have such a deceptive face. He looked innocent and sweet. No matter who saw him, they would only think he was the purest child in the world.
Ji Leyu stretched out his hand and wanted to touch his young self. Unfortunately, it was just a dream. He had no way to touch himself.
He could only sit and watch quietly.
It wasn’t until noon that Ji Leyu saw his young self sit up from the quilt. He rubbed his eyes and opened them drowsily. He sat on the bed for a while before slowly getting out of bed to wash up.
“Are you up?” The sound of the door opening was heard not far away.
Ji Leyu turned around and couldn’t help trembling.
At this moment, he held his breath and didn’t dare to blink out of fear that in the next second, the person in front of him would disappear again.
Ji Leyu felt that he had lost.
He was willing to admit defeat. He obviously hated God for so many years. He wanted to poke a hole in the sky in order to repay his blood debt. But at this moment, he was willing to lower his arrogant head and beg God to let him take one more look at the person in front of him.
He hadn’t seen Ji Yuxiao in so long.
The living and moving Ji Yuxiao.
He had even forgotten that his uncle’s voice and intonation were like this.
He was so gentle and tolerant. His voice sounded a bit deep, as if encrusted with magnets. However, it was also a clear and cheerful voice. This made people feel close to him.
It sounded so good and nostalgic.
Ji Leyu’s eyes instantly became tearful but he endured it. He didn’t dare to let tears blur his eyes. It had been too long since he had seen Ji Yuxiao like this—Ji Yuxiao who wasn’t in photos.
He wanted to look at Ji Yuxiao a bit longer and see him more clearly, so that he could clearly keep Ji Yuxiao firmly in his heart.
‘He lost,’ he thought. He had no ability to confront God at all. As long as God gave him a bit of sweetness, he had no ability to resist. He could only let himself lose in a mess and collapse.
Ji Leyu couldn’t help standing up and walking toward Ji Yuxiao step by step.
Ji Yuxiao had already walked in. Little Ji Leyu heard his voice and ran out with a toothbrush. He replied obediently, “I’m awake.”
Ji Yuxiao walked up to him and reached out to touch his forehead. It wasn’t as hot as last night.
“It seems that the fever has subsided a bit. Are you still uncomfortable?”
The young Ji Leyu shook his head. He had always been like this. He was used to acting spoiled with Ji Yuxiao, but he was never squeamish. He didn’t want Ji Yuxiao to worry about him.
Ji Yuxiao heard this and was a bit more relieved.
“Then brush your teeth and wash your face first. Then we will check your temperature again. Let Uncle Zhang take a look at you later.”
“Yes,” the young Ji Leyu replied obediently.
Ji Yuxiao rubbed his head and kissed him. “What do you want to eat today?”
“Fat beef in golden soup.” Ji Leyu didn’t hesitate. He had an illness. There was no taste in his mouth and he wanted to eat something tasty.
“Okay.” Ji Yuxiao agreed. “Then you go wash up. I’ll tell Aunt Zhang.”
“Yes.” Ji Leyu, who hadn’t grown up yet, smiled at his uncle. Then he returned to the bathroom, held his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth.
Ji Yuxiao gave instructions to Aunt Zhang but didn’t leave. He went into the bathroom to watch little Ji Leyu brush his teeth.
Little Ji Leyu looked at him through the mirror with a smile and made a face at him.
Ji Yuxiao watched on with a smile. Finally, he walked over and helped wash Ji Leyu’s face.
His eyes were full of tenderness and affection. It was as if as long as Ji Leyu was willing, he would give Ji Leyu everything he wanted.
In fact, he did so. If it wasn’t for Ji Leyu and his brother and sister-in-law, he would never have ended his too short life in a hurry when he was in his 20s.
Ji Leyu never thought that he would still be able to see his uncle. Finally, he couldn’t help slowly shedding tears.
He quietly wiped away his tears. He didn’t even want to look at his younger self any longer. He looked at Ji Yuxiao with reluctance and nostalgia.
His eyes fell on Ji Yuxiao’s legs and he realized that Ji Yuxiao was actually standing up. He wasn’t in a wheelchair.
Strange. In his impression, Ji Yuxiao was basically in a wheelchair when he was last with Ji Yuxiao as a child.
But now, his legs looked like a normal person. Was this the time he lived with Ji Yuxiao before the injury, not after?
However… Ji Leyu looked at his young self. He didn’t look like he was three or four years old. So how could it be from before?
He couldn’t understand.
There was subconscious fear and panic in his heart. He feared that this was really something that happened before Ji Yuxiao was injured and that it was a memory he unknowingly lost in the long years.
He instinctively rejected this possibility—he didn’t have many memories to recall. He didn’t want to lose any of them.
He was like a mentally barren traveler, holding onto what little wealth he had left. He took stock of it every day and night, but he was still afraid he would lose everything if he wasn’t careful.
This fear was finally relieved when he saw the elevator in the house.
Ji Yuxiao installed the elevator at home after he was injured. Then he wasn’t mistaken. At this time, he should indeed need a wheelchair due to his injuries. Then why could Ji Yuxiao already stand and walk?
Ji Leyu thought about it for a long time. Finally, he could only explain that maybe he always hoped his uncle would recover. So in this dream, he created such an illusion to satisfy himself.
This was the only reasonable explanation.
Ji Leyu accepted this explanation and followed Ji Yuxiao to the dining room.
Aunt Zhang had already cooked the meal. Ji Yuxiao accompanied Ji Leyu, who hadn’t grown up, to eat together and fed him medicine.
Little Ji Leyu sat in a spoiled manner in his arms. He watched TV with Ji Yuxiao and waited for the family doctor.
Not long after, the family doctor came and said that his fever had subsided. However, he would have to take medicine for another day to fully recover.
Ji Yuxiao was relieved. He sent off the family doctor and continued to watch TV with his little nephew.
It wasn’t until little Ji Leyu was sleepy again that Ji Yuxiao carried him back to his bedroom and went to the study by himself.
It wasn’t Sunday, but Ji Leyu was sick and Ji Yuxiao was worried. Therefore, Ji Yuxiao stayed at home to take care of him.
Ji Leyu sat on the sofa in the study and looked at Ji Yuxiao with nostalgia in his eyes.
He felt that he could live in this dream forever. He was willing to live in this dream and he even wished he would never wake up.
In this way, he could be with his uncle forever.
It was as if the person he had loved had never left him.
Proofreader: Jesse & Wei
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Poor Xiaoyuu 😭😭